Grr + Attitude = Gratitude

Despite a botched Christmas pictures and the endless stream of loitering viruses we have of late, there is much I am grateful for this year. Including, but not limited to:

1) Potty trained (more or less) twins... which means less money spent on diapers which opens up the cash flow for things like toilet and tile cleaner.... that heady urea saturated memories of childhood come flooding (or puddling) back every time I step foot in our bathroom. On the list of things I plan to conquer this year includes: how to wipe one's bottom (in a non-half assed fashion) and second how to aim without marking the toilet leaving proof that you were in fact there. Overall though, it's a huge step forward and I'm excited for their initiative and hard work in the ptd (potty training department).

2) Montessori School. It fosters independence and thorough investigation into how it all works. H is very insistent on the details of how exactly did he get in my belly? But who made him? Mommy and Daddy? But how? How Momma? How did I get in there? What am I made of? I'm made of skin and bones and nerves and muscles? But well, how did I start? A cell? Who put the cell there?
Heh. Every day I am amazed at the connections and nuances he picks up on. Every day he has new observations and new questions, but he seems to find time to circle back to the ones that he doesn't quite have the whole story on....

3) Medical School. Or more specifically: the paucity of rotations which remain: 3. woot. And Interviews for residency... giving me the opportunity to glimpse the future.

4) Family and Friends. Without whom, there would be no one to share the highs and the lows, the hilarity and the frustrations. We continue to be happy and grateful for wonderful parents, warm and reliable child care, and caring friends.

Hope you all had a feastful and thankful weekend.

big kids now

well ok, maybe not big, big kids but certainly bigger. This summer has been highly successful in the tricycle/vehicle riding department. All three boys can pedal with prowess and hours are spent outside every day riding christmas tractors, trikes, and recently, the scooter. M has even joined in on the action, directing her brothers when they query which direction she desires to go. She also will wave to passing crowds, blowing raspberries to her adoring fans.

speaking another language

The other day, E jabs his finger in the direction of A's neck.

E: What's that called?
A: My neck?
E: No that. ::Pressing on A's thyroid cartilage::
A: Oh, that's my Adam's apple. Behind it is my voice box.
E: Huh. What's it called in German?
A: [??] I don't know E.
E: [authoritatively] I think it's a who-who.
A: Really? A who-who?
E: Yes! A who-who.

Who knew?

excuse me?

We're on vacation again. Photos to come. But we had the pleasure of all sitting down to eat together (apparently an unusual event).

H eats his meal quickly and announces "I'm finished with this." He leaps up from the table.

"H," I say gently, "you need to say 'excuse me please' "

H turns around immediately, "But momma," he looks confused, "I didn't toot!"

Another Trip Slideshow

Yeah, I know it's been over a month and all I have to show you is another slideshow... I'm not sure it's worth the wait... hopefully you enjoy it nonetheless.

Minnesota 2009 from Meg on Vimeo.

friendly farm revisited

The kids and I are up in New Hampshire spending time relaxing with my parents. We are having a great time hanging out with Mimi and Papa, visiting with my grandmother and taking in the cool New England weather.

barber shop

Oh, here's a silly story: the other day I decided to cut the kids hair myself rather than pay $60 to go to the stupid kids' salon. It turned out to be well worth the ConAir scissors I bought at tarJ: their haircuts looked pretty good (read not terrible) and I was pleased with my thrifty handiness. But it must have given H the idea that one doesn't need to go to the hair dresser's to have their hair cut. The damn self reliant montessori philosphopy strikes again: H took it upon himself to cut his own hair. Well, weed wack it is more like it. The result: out came the clippers and H and Dad now have matching hair cuts (well except for that large chunk missing from his right forelock).

Rejection

We have been really blessed to have wonderful young women come stay with us and help us with the kids. Au-pairs have been a great childcare option for us and we are always sad when the time of year comes to say good-bye to our au pair. Fortunately, we still have several more months with K but we have recently finished interviewing for our next au pair (generally they only stay for a year at a time). After the latest round of interviewing, we 'matched' with a wonderfully energetic and kind young woman from Colombia. But in the interim, we received a few mismatches-- below is one of my favorites...


Dear Meg!
I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in your family. Your family is too big. I would like to take care of older children, your M is too small. I don't like dogs and I can't live with it. Thanks for your e-mail and I hope that you will find appropriate au-pair. Greetings form Poland.

Instigator

Shortly after putting H and E to bed the other night, I came back upstairs to start some laundry when I overheard:

H: No, E! No, we can't poop on the bed. Momma and Daddy make the rules and they say, 'You need to stay in bed. And no pooping or peeing on the bed.'
E: But why?
H: I don't know why they make the rules. But they do. And they said 'No pooping.' We don't get a star for getting out of bed and we don't get a star for pooping on the bed.

Has one reached a new low when one's heart swells with pride over the fact that after countless episodes of preschool humor, the message 'No pooping on the bed' has gotten through? Well at least to one of them...

Shady Business

E- thinkin' he's mighty cute in momma's sunglasses

House of Brotherly Love

'I big, you little' is a common taunt thrown around these parts. The ultimate insult coming from one brother to another. H can be reduced to tears by B who proclaims this with repeated glee at H's mounting hysteria. There is something amusing about this as B is the petitest of the bunch; by far the littlest but with the sharpest tongue. We've sort of solved it by reassuring H that he and his brothers are ALL BIG and that it is M who is little.

Alas, M is seeming less little lately. Probably because she has shot of out of infancy and is an active, vocal player in the brood. She loves to bellow 'Daaadaaadaaa'. She squeals and chortles at her subjects magnaminously but remains fairly even tempered and sweet.

to be a daddy

H has big plans for when, as he says, 'one day when i'm a daddy'. One day, when H is a daddy, he'll be the one making all the rules; he'll be able to drink beer (!?) and put B in time out. And one day, when he's a daddy, he'll have babies. Lots of babies, like M. And while no H, it won't happen by your next birthday: one day, when you are a daddy, you are going to be a great one.

Har-Moan-Ee

Sorry, my best intentions to post regularly are always thwarted by concern that I have nothing funny or interesting to post. I can do a little mundane though... things we have going on around here:

We're trying to cut back on the constant stream of night traffic in our house. I guess with four young kids, it's highly unlikely that at least one little sweetums won't be demanding something in the wee hours, but staggering them every couple days rather than every few hours would be a welcome change. One that we are trying to inact. With 'star charts!' and enticements of 'special treats!' I pine for a special treat for sleeping. My chart would twinkle...

Part of the problem lies in that E is having nightmares. As I can't create a 'I won't have nightmares' chart for him, we plan to continue to comfort him when they occur. (I know putting us in the ranks of parents of the year award right?) As A points out, the content is different every night and all are adorably pitiful. One night you might hear, 'Don't Bite me, Cow!' and the next, 'Noooo. H get off of me. I doughna want H to sit on me anymore.'

Ah, little E, cute and yet not so cute as his current response to any question you query of him is 'BECAUSE I WANT TO'
Harumph.

I'm back

Okay, now that's out of my system... I return to my delightful, agreeable self.

Not always adorable

Sometimes, it's necessary to take a break from being cute.

H turns Four

It is incredible to me how fast these four years have passed. H is ever the little boy- asking 'why' about everything and frequently querying us with regards to more complex topics every day. I strive to answer his questions, delight in his curiosity and embrace his childhood-- I now realize how quickly it goes.



H Turns Four from Meg on Vimeo.

Bowing to the inevitable

At least there is one of us who is very excited to be seen driving the new minivan.... He even takes the time to make sure his hair is styled just right.

Springy

It is the time of year for sneezing, pollen and finally spring. While the temperatures have been milder here, it has been exceedingly rainy and wet. This past weekend was beautiful just in time for the boys' school's Spring Fling. We had a great time with balloon animals and face painting (among other activities). H would tell you that 'I got a bug on my face an' then it went away in the bath' He had an adorable bumble bee on his cheek and a butterfly balloon animal to accompany the insect theme.

Today, P swooped the boys off on an exciting and much anticipated trip to the Zoo. Apparently, they had a delightful time and were utterly exhausted when they arrived home.

It was a busy, fun-filled weekend.

Not even 6 am...

This isn't an entirely typical morning picture- but it's not an unusual one for us. With three boys, I have found it is extremely difficult to keep a clothed household. Why the naked desire is so strong, I am not sure. Perhaps it rides on the Y chromosome? The other day, H went to a neighbor's house. Rather than playing outside with his brothers and neighborly friends, he asked to go inside. He then proceeded to tour the house, used the facilities to take a giant poop- taking off his pants in the process and then refusing to put them back on- and emerged from the house half an hour later pantless, exclaiming to daddy 'This is a great house! I wanna show you the kitchen!! When we build a new house, I want it to be like this one.' (In addition to propensity for the nude, H also has strong feelings about our 'old' house and great plans to build a new one- with an excavator and a bobcat. He'll be the one driving the bobcat in case you were curious; or moreover, you were thinking that you might like to drive the bobcat... you're outta luck.)

As for the rest of this picture, E started the helmet trend. Truly, he loves to wear his helmet so much that we had to institute the 'Helmet stays in the car when we go into the restaurant/store/school' policy. But it is highly cute to see him wondering around with his helmet on...

Happy Feet

When M is happy, she gives little kicks of glee. She frequently sits in her bumbo, the excitement of impending food almost too great, she wiggles her toes and does leg lifts of joy... Her hair appears to be growing in blond. Yes, I know this is not a surprise to anyone but perhaps me. While there is a resemblance between my baby photos and her, she has wonderful coloring (ie of the darker and less pastey variety) which I thought might translate into her daddy's wonderful mahogany dark hair (Sorry A-- I'm sure your choking on the idea of me calling your brown hair mahogany, but I was simply trying to describe its glossy quality).

Anyway, in other news, M has no exciting milestones to bore you with-- she sort of sits up, sort of rolls over, and is mostly adept at pulling hair and making conversation. She enjoys a warm, freshly shaken bottle, but really isn't too picky about how her milk as served as long as it's punctual. Tardy milk is not tolerated 'round these round parts. She likes to squeal with delight (a habit I expect to continue for quite some time) but perhaps sweetest of all, she gives wonderful, head-buried-in-my-shoulder, fists-tightly-clenching-my-clothes, hugs which I cherish.

the Tunnel

I've only got a few rotations left in my third year. And while these next few months are guaranteed to be busy, hectic and hard, I am starting to think towards next year: towards applying for residency, and starting my career. I'm beginning to glimpse light at the end of this tunnel.

Beach Boys

We went on a short but delightful jaunt to the beach over my spring break. The drive was long but the beach was great so it (sort of) made the whole thing worthwhile. I got to catch up with an old elementary school friend and the boys managed to give several seagulls the scare of a lifetime. We came back rosy cheeked after thoroughly enjoying the warm spring weather.

Bird Conductor

This picture strikes me as a cross between an orchestral maestro and Harry Potter. Given that the birds didn't respond to repeated attempts to pet them, I'm thinking we may need to find a better wand... this twig of driftwood may have lost its magic.

En-dEAR-ing

Here I am being me: cute, inquisitive, talkative.... Just looking for a little attention.



Next thing I know, my crazy brother's inflicting his ear fetish on me. Oowwie.



We made up.

Out with a bang

A had the great idea to move the twins to beds of their own. I'll freely admit that I wasn't wild about this idea at first: this means we now have three little independent minded beings able to wander the house nocturnally. Yet, it also means that there is no longer a crib upon which to bang one's head. While it was very hard for us to discern if B was banging his head for attention reasons (bored and wanting to get out of bed) or for headache reasons associated with his chiari (to get our attention because he was having a headache), we agonized over him doing it regardless.

The bed has brought some clarity. B has stopped headbanging. He now hops out of bed and demands for 'Dad-dee, tuckie in' A much welcomed request for being tucked in as opposed to the rhythmic banging that we've been subjected to for a long while. It is also difficult to know how his headaches/chiari stuff is going. His appointment with the neurosurgeon this month went well. He did not feel that B's chiari had worsened or that the flow of his spinal fluid was significantly blocked. He still is waking up a lot at night, but I'm trying to take a step back and consider the possibility that B simply has us trained. I think I might work on a little sleep hygiene with him over my spring break...

Valentine

wishing you a happy, wondrous valentine's

Handsome Debell

H has been working on understanding the differences between men and women.  For a long time, he thought (perhaps he still does) that all babies are born girls.  And that somehow, they morph into boys. And his concept of aging is still developing. In the magical way that children's minds work, this did not come out as a clear, concrete thought but rather was expressed abstractly for several months after M's birth.  H would say things like, 'When I grow up, I want to be little.  I want to be a baby girl.'  And he'd also say things like, 'When I grow up, I'm going feed my baby with a breast.'  I think his mind and development are amazing.  He obviously is working out his jealousy and fascination at M being a baby, getting a lot of attention and of being breastfed.  He claims to want to 'Be little for Halloween. I want to be a baby and be held.'  I know, I know. I find it bittersweet too. But he is managing ok and his concepts of boys becoming men seems to more solid lately.  He's begun mimicking A: he wants to wear a belt every morning 'like Daddy' and he is so excited to 'grow up and be a Daddy' but he was a little disappointed to hear that he won't be getting breasts after all....

He's been copying A in other aspects as well.  The other day, after he finished picking out his outfit, donning his belt and getting his sweatshirt zipped, he ran into our room announcing, 'Here is a handsome debell'  Yes, H, you are becoming like your Daddy, that handsome devil.

Tubes, 'Noids and Raspberries

B and E had their second set of ear tubes placed this week and as a bonus they got their adenoids removed as well. Removed is a euphemism I believe, I strongly suspect they 'bovie' (cauterizing with electricity) the ever living bejebus out of the nasopharyngeal tonsils (aka adenoids). I theorize this only because the smell of burnt tissue is pervasive. For the past week, we have been constantly walking around saying, 'All right, what's that horrible smell? Who needs to be changed?!' Only to realize that it's the smell of adenoidectomy that we're encountering. Delightful.

As for the M, she is a cutie pie. I'm not sure if I've shared what a wonderfully sweet and happy baby she is. She generally only cries when she is hungry or tired. She loves to engage people, her entire face lighting up when she catches your eye, and her feet wriggle and toes curl with pleasure. She's recently started making raspberries and could write a PhD thesis on the utility yet unpredictability of phalanges. She's experimenting with putting them in her mouth. She continues to be soothed with her pacifier. Kate gives her baby massages and reports that she enjoys her foot massage most. She hasn't started solids yet, I'm giving her a few more weeks before we go down that path. In the meantime, she's working on sitting up and taking a swing at all toys that dangle in her direction.

E-isms

E and B are picking up language at an impressive rate. They are also honing their senses of humor.

E and B on the way to Mimi's house with Dad driving while I visit friends with H and M. E and B are in their seats, when
B [casually mentions apropos of nothing] 'E! E bite cow'
subsequent laughter
Dad [nonplussed]: 'E, did you bite a cow?
E: 'YES!'
Dad [in all seriousness]: 'What did it taste like?'
E [pausing for dramatic effect]: 'Fluffy'
Then bursts into great belly laughs
E: 'That's funny!'

People often ask us if the twins have a shared, special language- a twin dialect, if you will. And while they both (mis)pronounce words in the same fashion, I would not call it their own language because we can understand most of it, usually....

Last weekend as we were driving home from the Cost-cow, in a post shopping trip hot dog induced calm, E bellows from the back seat, 'Hey! Dumb Fuck!!'
Huh? I briefly wondered if he was talking to me. I glanced back to see E pointing enthusiastically at a dump truck merging into the lane next to ours. Ah, good to see that E is carrying on the family tradition.

A Brighter Note

We took a visit to BuildABear today. While I aspire to involve the boys in community service, this was not the year I elected to under take that tradition opting instead to brave the mall. H named his bear 'Doo-dee' the inspiration is beyond me. He chose an ill-fitting spiderman costume in which to attire his bear. E debated for sometime as to his bear and the subsequent accessories (believe you me, morning get-dressed sessions around these parts is similar to a sorority before a Friday night, there is more negotiating and changing of outfits than I care to elaborate on) thus it was no small task to choose just one! outfit for the bear. Finally, a firefighter outfit was agreed upon and donned. Fortunately, B decided that his precious would go au natural- no stupid, cutesy outfit for this panda (named Honey) thankyouverymuch. M napped through the whole ordeal.

Key-R-Ee

B has something called a chiari (key-R-ee) malformation.  I imagine that most of you who read this blog are aware of this-- we found out last March.  After a long December and January with B head banging and unhappy, we began actively trying to find out what was going on with the little guy.  We saw our pediatrician who thought that 'frankly, it was weird.  But probably, normal?' It continued.  We pushed harder and bought ourselves a psych consult. At first I really resented the consult.  I kept suggesting we needed imaging done.  I wanted to make sure there was a huge tumor growing in his brain, causing bad headaches with subsequent head banging in the middle of the night.  Our pedi reasonably pointed out that we had already had an MRI done as part of a research study in which the boys were taking part.  Surely, they would have said something if there had been something to see? Right?  

As it turned out, the psych consult was helpful.  Not because they uncovered any diagnosis but rather, the principal investigator of the research study was a member of the psych department.  Our psychiatrist inquired about the previous image and lo, I received a phone call from the investigator a few days later.  'Uh, there was something on his MRI.  He has a chiari.'  There are different forms but he has a chiari I which is a herniation of the cerebellar tonsils past the foramen magnum.  This means there is a small portion of his brain that extends out of his skull into his spinal column.   This can be troublesome because it can cause the spinal fluid to get backed up, affecting the spinal cord and causing other problems.  Some people have it without any symptoms.  It is just a finding but with no clinical significance.  Others have a lot of trouble: headaches, choking sensation, decreased arm/hand function...  

We saw a pediatric neurosurgeon shortly thereafter who examined the MRI carefully.  We had another set of images of his brain and spinal cord taken to see if there was any blockage.  B has a large chiari (in terms of the length the brain extends down) and while the flow looked to be diminished in the back of his head, it wasn't enough to warrant surgery.  We were partially relieved, brain surgery is no joke.  And yet, he was obviously having troubles at night still.  Waking up, head banging, crying and no being able to go back to sleep.  It would come in bursts and then get better.  A miserable month, a couple weeks reprieve.  It sucked and still does.  But we were in a holding pattern, until there was more concrete signs that surgery was indicated, the surgeon wanted to hold off.

B had another MRI and follow up appointment last month.  Things are looking cramped back there.  His brain is growing normally (as evidenced by his language development, his social skills, and his normal progress) but his little noggin isn't keeping up.  We had another MRI the week after next.  From there, we will decide whether or not we need to surgery.  In the midst of all of this, B has started getting up again every night.  It generally takes him two hours to get comfortable and fall back asleep.  This happened most of November too.  Meh. It makes the caffeine requirement steep and the bleary eyed mornings numerous.

I suppose in the course of these types of things, one needs to go through this process to come to terms with having their child undergo a surgery.  If it weren't so rough, and he wasn't in so much distress, then it would be difficult to justify opening his skull and exposing his brain to all sorts of scary infections.  But balanced with the possibility that it might bring him relief and the chance to sleep, not to live with constant headaches and to continue to develop and grow normally, it seems less radical.  

Who's your Momma?

One of H's favorite questions of late is 'Who fed momma when momma was a baby?' The answer, 'Mimi' always prompts our budding archivist to inquire, 'Who fed Mimi when Mimi was a baby?' It is interesting to see him start to make the connections and understand relationships.

Miss M is also doing lots of developing. She started smiling around 6 weeks and 2 weeks ago, during her sink bath, she let out a bubbly giggle when the washcloth was cleaning the milk crust between her neck folds. She is easy to smile but harder to amuse to the point of laughter. I shall now proceed to bore you with a minute of her babble.