Our Next Adventure

This was an exciting week! I let my current practice know that I would be leaving to start my own dermatology practice, Rock Creek Dermatology. It was certainly bittersweet to announce that I was leaving but I am very excited to start building a practice of my own. There are tons of things on the to do list but up first is building my website. I have the rough draft online today but will continue to tweak it a bit.

At the end of August I will be starting my practice at the former office of Susan Canning. Now that the website is mostly taken care of the next steps are to get the business side of things in order and then do some painting and work on some minor redecorating at the office. There is plenty to do but we are excited about the opportunity that lies ahead.

Christmas Eve

Merry merry to you!

Summer camp

H made repeated requests to be at spend the night camp this summer.  So off he went, experiencing both the mountains and the ocean... all that NC has to offer.  In addition, he also had camp music theme song: Dynamite and requested a celebratory cake each time our conquering hero returned.

Spring in NC

Sanibel Spring Break

We had a fantastic trip with Mimi down to Sanibel Island for a little sand in our suits and bad pirate humor (mostly involving bathroom jokes).  We rode bikes and kayaks.  It was a wonderful trip.

Valentine's 2012

it's been months since you've heard from us... and no news is good news. We are doing well-- charging through early childhood at an alarming pace and continuing to squeeze every moment out of the days and nights. H is in first grade: working on reading, spending time and allowance on the wii and wishing he could fly (I had no idea how universal this wish was but presently, it is his greatest desire). E continues to be quite grounded. He is ever physical and has recently mastered the back stroke in swimming lessons. B and H successfully campaigned for a new four legged friend to join the fray (Atlas). B has been very busy pretending he is a puppy and entertaining Atlas (an name which he came with but aptly so, as B spends most of his school hours pin punching out world maps). This puppy has results in many scraps and nips but a lot of mutual joy for those two. And Miss M continues to direct us all. She loves having her face/hands/arms painted with facepaint, coloring and drawing on paper (usually), and discussing plot nuances and the character flaws of Beauty and the Beast.

But just how look how much we've grown. I'm beginning to think of young childhood like a carburetor-- yes, you have to put in an enormous amount of fuel/energy, but once the smoke clears, if you can harness the resulting output, capture and direct it, you feel like you're going places.

Christmas!!

Oh Santa came to see us, yes, indeed-y! E was probably still dancing around upstairs over the contents of his stocking so he didn't make the stairs photo.

Trip to the Fair!

Our annual trip to the State Fair yielded lots of sticky hands and faces this year. But the eating was good and the ride (yes, the ferris wheel) was fun :) Oh and we won a giant goldfish-- Bob. The more the merrier around here!

School Bound

Somebodies are looking forward to school starting!!! We had a great summer swimming, visiting NH, going to camp and playing around the house. But everyone seems pretty excited to return to their respective classrooms.

Glamourpuss

NH shots

Beach!

H turns six

At the zoo

Well, yes, I'm falling back on pictures to tell the story.

Let's do lunch

Winter 2010

The kids are all right

The kiddos have been doing well. Miss M is doing well in school as are the boys.

an intern's thanks

I spent this Thanksgiving working from Thursday 6 am to Friday 12 pm. For the first month after reviewing my schedule for the holiday season, I felt bitter. Not only did I land a call night on Thanksgiving but I also ended up with three 'black' weekends, where I work all weekend long spending Saturday night without a pause before charging on into the next week. The days morph together in a disoriented shuffle. I simply become unaware of where I am and acutely aware of where I am not.

I expressed these deeper somewhat dismal thoughts to my co-intern today as the doors of the hospital soundlessly slid open and we made our way home. Not terribly coherent, but nevertheless heartfelt I tried to explain that in my 1/2 second of reflection yesterday between endless pages ranging from the ridiculous ('seriously, your kid hasn't pooped in how long? 6 hours? And you really think he needs a glycerine chip in his bottom?!') to the heart wrenching, a non-accidental trauma (read child abuse) case who brain started herniating, I came up with nothing. A bit of a numb feeling. I'm grateful for... working unbelievable hours? Missing my family on this holiday? Not knowing the small details of my children's lives that weave together to create their present worries, triumphs and fears. No I decided, while I certainly am grateful for the material items in my life: having a house, plenty of food, a car that gets me to work (when I have time to stop to get gas). And while certainly thankful for my children's health, I am undeniably bitter that I spend more time caring for some 'social hospitalization' than I do with my own. I choked down turkey filled sobs during the few minutes I shared with my husband after he brought me leftovers in the hospital noting to him that I find myself crying if I ever stop to think about how I feel. It's easier to be numb.

My co-intern (a childless, yet married guy likely 3 years my junior) nodded. But he turned to me saying
'Well I didn't have to look far yesterday to find things to be thankful for. It crossed my mind several times yesterday that I wouldn't want to trade shoes with anyone else who was here in the hospital yesterday. In every case, from the janitor to the patient dying of CF to the cafeteria server, I was thankful that I had the opportunity to serve, to help and to possibly add more to someone's life on a holiday.' **I'm parphrasing here as he managed to say it even more eloquently than I can manage**

It made me pause. In past years, it is always relationships for which I find myself most grateful on Thanksgiving and having the opportunity to spend the holiday with the people I love simply reinforces this truth. My relationships are suffering this internship year. While my children are thriving, I am disconnected from them more than ever. Which makes my title as momma feel tenuous and my role as mother perfunctory. Messing with my relationships, such a huge part of what I base my whole personhood, my success in life and my happiness, is embittering. But his comment reminded me of what I did get to do yesterday that I normally don't: I fed a failure to thrive panhypopit baby because his mom left the hospital to celebrate with friends and family. I rocked a terrified child until he collapsed into sleep after an IV attempt gone poorly and I spent time cross covering other people whom I normally don't encounter because of the holidays. While my personal relationships are undoubtedly suffering during my training, I occasionally need reminders that other relationships (physician/patient, nurse/physician) are growing. And while the ability to offer hope, to reassure parents, and to order the gd glycerine chip may not completely fill me up, the sense of service and the acknowledgment of how much I have learned are reasons to give thanks and perhaps for me to feel a little less grinchy this holiday season

H goes to K

Mimi and Poppa accompanied H on his first day at the 'frog' school. H's elementary school's mascot is a frog. This pleases H to no end and refers to his school as the frog school. He's quite pleased with himself and his teachers.

Summer Pics

This summer:

we moved houses

I started work

E christened himself 'swimmer' and refused to recognize any other alias

we took the kids to see their first live concert

all in all it was a quiet summer